“How do you know what your audience is thinking?”

“How do you know what your audience is thinking?”

I get this question a lot when I teach people persuasive communications. It’s important because you need to build a bridge from your audience to your message, not the other way around.

Which is a simple way of saying you need to speak to them and with them where they’re at.

Okay – but how do I know where they’re at?

Well the first rule is simple: the first and most important thing everybody wants is recognition.

So give them that.

Show them that you’ve taken the time to think about it from their perspective.

You do this by using the BDF formula – Beliefs, Desires, Feelings.

Go ahead and do your research before you talk, and specifically look for your audiences beliefs. Beliefs about you, your organisation (if you have one),  and your topic.

Then look at their desires. Again, their desires in general. Their desires in regards to the occasion. And their desires about your topic.

Finally their feelings – feelings about you, your organisation, the topic, and so on.

Tap into those.

So far this is all pretty standard. So let me throw a spanner in the works.

Whatever is most personal is most universal.

The deepest emotions and experiences – the ones that feel most unique to us – are usually the ones that are most relatable. Because the deeper you go, the more similar we are as human beings.

(Taylor Swift has literally become a billionaire by expressing her most personal experiences precisely because they’re so universally relatable.)

So that’s your guiding light – get personal.

Stop looking around and seeing what other people in your position are doing. You’re not a mirror, reflecting whatever happens around you.

You’re a fucking leader. So lead.

And lead with personality. Be. Different.

Yes, that will mean some people won’t like you. Get over yourself. If you’re not turning some people away, you’re definitely not inspiring any people.

Show your audience recognition. Take the time to understand them, and walk with them.

Look at their beliefs, their desires, and their feelings.

But then show them that YOU are a person, too.

And here’s the kicker:

If you do that, your audience’s thoughts are easier to predict. Because when you do something different, you know the audience will be thinking about that.

Here endeth the lesson.

Go ye and do likewise.

Talk soon,

Alexander

P.S. If you want some help doing this with your next speech, talk, or presentation, shoot me an email at [email protected].