Why doctors wear tall hats

TL;DR

1. If you make this mistake you’ll sound like a teenager trying to be smart

2. Hemingway’s ‘older and better’ words

3. Patton’s Speech to the 3^rd Army

If you make this mistake you’ll sound like a teenager trying to be smart

Blaise Pascal, the French philosopher, once said that doctors wear tall hats because they can’t cure you.

What did he mean?

Well, it might seem a little harsh, but in essence he was saying that we tend to fluff up when we can’t step up.

It’s the old ‘those who can’t do, teach’ idea.

If you can’t do something, make yourself an authority on it.

If you’re a doctor who can’t cure me, make yourself LOOK impressive.

Like I said, it might be a little harsh. Pascal doesn’t pull his punches.

But he has a point.

I’ve marked university essays for years, and again and again I see students use words they would never use in real life, just because they think academic essays need to sound smart.

But half the time, the reason is far worse.

In reality, they don’t have a clear idea of what they’re saying. So they use long rambling sentences and long empty words to hide the (unconscious) fact that they don’t know what they’re saying.

And no, speeches aren’t exempt either.

There’s a reason people don’t trust politicians and CEOs.

It’s not that they WON’T trust them.

They absolutely will. IF they’re given a reason to.

But when a politician gets up and won’t stop speaking in a roundabout way, we KNOW he or she hasn’t said anything.

When a CEO gets up to talk after an issue with their service, and won’t give a direct answer, we KNOW we can’t trust them.

So here’s a solution. I call it…

“He’s dead” writing

Imagine you’re in an emergency.

Someone’s collapsed. You check his vital signs. No pulse.

“He’s dead,” you say.

What you DON’T say is “There’s a good indication he may have passed away.”

Not only is that a waste of time, it’s also weak.

Or imagine you’re calling an ambulance:

“Someone’s collapsed, I don’t know if he’s still breathing.’

Again – direct.

Dale Carnegie used to say that everybody was eloquent when you punch them—

They’ll get up and tell you what they think of you without a single pause.

But every word will be direct.

So write plain. Write direct.

Write like you’re in an emergency.

(Using slang or professional jargon is another example of this problem, by the way. Except in very rare cases, it doesn’t show you’re ‘one of the boys’, it shows you can’t speak plainly.)

Hemingway’s ‘older and better’ words

The writer William Faulkner once criticised Ernest Hemingway for have a limited vocabulary in his writing.

Yes, he criticised him for writing too simply.

When he heard, this was Hemingway’s response:

“Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words? He thinks I don’t know the $10 words. I know them alright. But there are older and simpler and better words and those are the ones I use.”

Only one word out of the 40 Hemingway used had three syllables.

And only seven had two.

The rest all had just one syllable.

That’s what gives Hemingway his strong style.

That’s what makes him a strong writer, too.

Did you know that if you count each time a word is used in writing and speaking, Anglo-Saxon words make up about three quarters of English?

But if you count each word once only, three quarters come from Latin.

The point?

Anglo-Saxon words are direct, strong, common.

They’re natural.

You have three times as many Latinate words if you want them – but, as Hemingway says, they are older and simpler and better words.

And those are the ones you should use.

Patton’s Speech to the 3rd Army

One of my favourite examples is General Patton’s famous speech to the 3^rd army on the eve of the D-Day Normandy Landing.

You can (and should) read the speech here. But for our purposes let’s just look at the opening and the closing:

“Men, all this stuff you hear about America not wanting to fight, wanting to stay out of the war, is a lot of horse dung. Americans love to fight. All real Americans love the sting and clash of battle. When you were kids, you all admired the champion marble shooter, the fastest runner, the big-league ball players and the toughest boxers. Americans love a winner and will not tolerate a loser. Americans play to win all the time. I wouldn't give a hoot in hell for a man who lost, and laughed. That's why Americans have never lost and will never lose a war. The very thought of losing is hateful to America. Battle is the most significant competition in which a man can indulge. It brings out all that is best and it removes all that is base.”

[…]

“Then there's one thing you men will be able to say when this war is over and you get back home. Thirty years from now when you're sitting by your fireside with your grandson on your knee and he asks, 'What did you do in the great World War Two?' You won't have to cough and say, 'Well, your granddaddy shovelled shit in Louisiana.' No sir, you can look him straight in the eye and say 'Son, your granddaddy rode with the great Third Army and a son-of-a-goddamned-bitch named George Patton!' All right, you sons of bitches. You know how I feel. I'll be proud to lead you wonderful guys in battle anytime, anywhere. That's all”

Read over those two paragraphs.

Feel the force of Patton’s words?

Don’t they just hit you in the face?

He uses largely Anglo-Saxon words, by the way.

And he uses mostly short words.

And short sentences.

Alright, you know how I feel about speeches.

That’s all.

Alexander

P.S.

Need #speechwriting, corporate training, or coaching? DM me on LinkedIn or send me an email at [email protected]